High-functioning autism and being a highly sensitive person are both forms of neurodiversity. They are innate characteristics that make individuals stand out as atypical in a world that is considered “normal.”
Scientific literature refers to highly sensitive individuals as having sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). This sensitivity leads to various traits, including a heightened response to stress, an increased ability to notice subtle details in their environment, a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social, and emotional stimuli, an intense emotional reaction to positive and negative information, and a tendency to become easily overwhelmed by excessive stimulation.
Both highly sensitive individuals and those with high-functioning autism can possess deep empathy, even if their expression of it may differ from societal norms or remain hidden altogether. However, it is important to note that while there are similarities in sensory processing experiences between these two groups, they are not entirely overlapping.
Autism affects approximately 2% of the population, while 20% of individuals are identified as highly sensitive according to research conducted by Elain Aron. Sensory processing remains a common characteristic between autism and high sensitivity, but the manifestation of this characteristic varies. Highly sensitive individuals tend to be sensitive to sensory input, while autistic individuals may exhibit hyper- or hypo-reactivity to sensory stimuli or a combination of both, or even neither. Additionally, repetitive behaviors and interests are prominent features of autism, whereas heightened sensitivity does not necessarily entail such traits.
Individuals on the autism spectrum and highly sensitive people can experience difficulties due to environmental overstimulation. Consequently, they may resort to strategies like isolation or withdrawal as a coping mechanism.
It is crucial to recognize that each highly sensitive person and autistic individual perceives the world differently, emphasizing the uniqueness of their experiences.
The Challenges of Understanding Highly Sensitive People with High-Functioning Autism
In a world where autism is often misunderstood, neurotypical individuals may struggle to show genuine sympathy or empathy. Well-intentioned people may attempt to relate by saying things like “I’m sensitive to sound too” or “I have rigid routines too.” However, these statements fail to acknowledge the distinctive challenges faced by atypical individuals. While neurotypical individuals may have sensitivities, they can typically filter out background noise and focus on tasks, unlike individuals with autism who find it incredibly difficult to ignore distracting sounds. Autistic individuals are not deliberately being difficult; it is a result of their neurological limitations.
By attempting to sympathize in this manner, neurotypicals unintentionally highlight the differences between themselves and highly sensitive autistic individuals. Well-intentioned efforts to understand may come across as patronizing and further isolate autistic individuals who already feel disconnected from the rest of the world.
A more effective response requires genuine understanding, recognizing that everyone experiences the world uniquely, and there is no universal “right” way to be. Only when neurodiverse individuals are genuinely accepted without being considered “less than” can they feel embraced and acknowledged.
The Potential Harm of Counseling:
Being neurodiverse can result in experiencing hurt even in places and with people that are supposed to provide assistance.
Many individuals with high-functioning autism find that seeking help from conventional doctors and psychologists can be debilitating and distressing. This occurs because many professionals are trained to view people from a neurotypical perspective, basing their assessments and judgments on population averages. If you deviate from these “standards” of health and happiness, your natural tendencies, such as sensitivity and intensity, may be pathologized and judged. Instead of receiving the necessary help, you might be left feeling defective. Although these professionals may not intend to cause harm, the impact remains the same.
During treatment or counseling, professionals may attempt to “fix” aspects of your personality that do not require fixing while overlooking the factors that would genuinely benefit you. They may have preconceived notions of what constitutes a “healthy lifestyle” or “normal relationships,” perceiving your atypical way of being as an illness.
Often, what truly needs attention is your self-esteem and the extent to which you can understand and accept yourself. While you may not fit into mainstream society, which can cause suffering, the solution does not involve sacrificing your authentic self but rather finding a way to exist in the world and cultivate a sense of belonging in your own unique way.
Traditional psychotherapy can still offer benefits to neurodiverse individuals. Concepts such as emotion regulation, temperament and typology theories, and therapeutic models that honor human diversity can be valuable.
For neurodiverse individuals, it is essential to find a professional who can see and accept you as you are. They should not attempt to change your essential nature or force you into an ill-fitting mold. If your authentic truth does not conform to mainstream expectations, you must recognize that conventional wisdom does not apply to you. Even if you are continually misunderstood, it does not imply that you are flawed. It is challenging to be authentic in a world that values conformity, but listening to yourself is crucial.
Embracing Your Unique Self
People with high-functioning autism often feel compelled to conceal their symptoms and suppress their interests and personalities to fit in with neurotypicals. Years of hiding and pretending can lead to internalized shame and self-hatred. If you identify as someone with high-functioning autism, it is important to understand that the universe created you as you are for a reason. You have valuable qualities to offer the world, such as creativity, focused abilities, intensity, and unique perspectives. However, you can only share these gifts if you learn to fully respect and embrace yourself, including what others may perceive as limitations.
In a world that constantly dictates who you should be, only you truly know who you are. You alone understand what brings you profound happiness. It takes tremendous courage to acknowledge your “difference” and stand up against those who judge and criticize without understanding. Remember, you do not need the entire world to love you. What matters most is standing by your own side and inviting those who truly comprehend and appreciate you into your inner circle. If you can strengthen your mindset and become your own advocate, even in the face of societal labels, you will remain unharmed.
As Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.”